Poor massage and a disappointing experience overall
I used to like going to this place for a legitimate massage - the owner was great and genuine. I've been reluctant to go though after hearing that "Wawa" from Hua Hin had moved there - a lady who is all about selling the expensive extras (many people really seem to like her though).
However, I had got a sports strain and so I thought I'd risk it for a biscuit - at least I could get a massage and maybe a quick tug off by a nice lady. I stepped inside and there was a Thai lady having her lunch - and completely oblivious to her surroundings whilst on the phone. The other on reception was a lady who was (I think) called "Cat" - she didn't look Thai!
Now, forgive me if I'm making the wrong statement, but I kind of like the idea of a Thai massage, which means having Thai girls. Against my better judgement, I agreed to a massage and decided that it would be an experience, if nothing else.
Well, she immediately started talking - or should that be barking - at me. She was quite aggressive. She started on my legs and hurt the sports strain. I said something under my breath in pain and she replied: "WHAT!". This is how it continued, she confirmed that she was from Romania - bloody brilliant(!). Disconcertingly, she started asking questions that I don't like: "do you have children?", "Are you married?", "Have you a got a girlfriend?", etc. "Mind your own business", I wanted to say, but I didn't. Her excuse was: "well, we have an hour".
Half an hour in, she asked if I wanted "it rubbing". I just wasn't attracted to her and so I said "no". She kept on though: "So what do we do now, we have twenty minutes left?". "You what!? OK, do my legs a bit".
"Now what we do we do?" she asked, Come on - there are fifteen minutes left and I've never had this before - a massage person not knowing what to do. This was an absolutely shit massage. Eventually, I negotiated £20 so that should would lift her top for me to grope and I could wank. Well I was curious so...
Big mistake. Her top came up to reveal the most unattractive tits I've ever seen. You know when you go back to junior school after the Christmas holidays - and there's a balloon forgotten under the table half deflated, wrinkly in places and misshapen? Or you let down a balloon after a couple of months and it's stretched and won't go back? They were like that. Sunken, wrinkly nipples pointing in different directions and a saggy baby belly. Thank goodness I didn't pay the £50 she had demanded to take all of her clothes off, because who knows what would be inside those pants. Oh - and at that stage, getting closer to her I could tell that she was a smoker - and she stank.
As I was getting ready to escape, she asked: "how was the massage?". "Oh, wonderful", I replied. What I should have done was left twenty minutes early when she started her games. As I left, the Thai woman again ignored me. Will I be back... will I bollocks!
Anonymous
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